New Job Anxiety

This Blog Post was originally published on adagia.org.

Tomorrow will be the last day at the company I work for currently. I will show up on Monday to collect my personal stuff as I will be on paid vacation for the last three days of August.

On the 31st of August, I will be driving to the new employer and will stay in Linz till Friday. On one side, I'm really looking forward to the new job and excited about the new challenges, but on the other side, my brain is hitting me with a level of anxiety I didn't expect.

I noticed my sleep degrading the more the last days at my current employer came closer. My brain is constantly thinking about what would happen if I had to leave the new company in the first month (the employer doesn't need to explain cancelling one in the first month). Or a typical other thought, "what if I'm not good enough?"

The human is a habitual animal, and changing habits always creates fear. I know that, and I also know I wouldn't have received the Macbook Pro from the new employer if they wouldn't trust me already. But maybe I'm showing up, and I get cancelled the day after? To be honest, nothing in the communication and meetings I had with them would indicate something like that. But who knows?

But looking at my current employer, I could be laid off any minute anyways (like a coworker was recent). I hope that fear will be gone soon, and I can finally sleep well again.