A thing where it doesn't belong?
This Blog Post was originally published on the platform "writelier" (formerly "co-writers" and "200wordsaday"). Sadly the blogging platform was discontinued. I downloaded all my blog posts and prepared them to be republish them here.
I wasn't involved as a paramedic in the following story. But I stood near dispatch when the emergency call arrived. I didn't see the patient nor do I know exactly what happened.
Let's start with the emergency call, translated from German and out of my memory.
"Hello, Red Cross Emergency Line, how can I help?"
"Hello, my Girlfriend got something stuck."
"Can you please tell me where you are and how your Girlfriend got stuck?"
As far as I can remember, the man on the phone told dispatch that they were on vacation and in an inn nearby. Dispatch noted the address down and sent a car on its way. The call continued:
"Thanks for the information, an Ambulance is already on its way. Please tell me now what happened so I can forward the information to the colleges on their way."
We heard that the caller was nervous.
"We can only help you if you describe the problem as detailed as possible. The more our colleagues know before arriving, the easier they can help. Please continue your explanation."
Dispatch himself got a little bit nervous as we still didn't know what was going on. Maybe we would need the firefighters to help out if the person is stuck in a hole or something.
"I don't know how I should describe it." The person on the phone started. "We tried something new and that is now stuck inside her."
Finally, not his Girlfriend is stuck, something is stuck inside her. After a few more encouraging words from my colleague he finally told us what happened.
"Well, we tried to have Anal Sex for the first time. To stretch her out, I used a vibrator. I let loose for a few seconds and it was gone. We can't get it out."
The guy on the phone was almost whining. Dispatch forwarded this to my colleagues on the road. We heard laughing through the radio. Dispatch ended the call and we burst into laughter.
Later I heard that the Girl needed surgery in the hospital to get it out. Rumours say it was still vibrating.
So, be careful if you try something new. And never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.