The Dream about Communication

Last night I had a strange dream again. I woke up in elementary school with my current boss as a teacher (really strange by itself already).

We were grouped together in groups of four and I happened to be the only guy in a group of three girls.

Sidenote: We were only five boys back in elementary school and about 20 girls if I remember correctly.

We were given a paper with different colour, each standing for a separate feeling. The girls in my group quickly started talking about their feelings and writing stuff down.

Somehow I managed to not be noticed. They talked and talked, but they refused to talk to me. On my side, I didn’t make any intentions to contribute stuff myself, even though I didn’t feel good and I wanted to express this.

Time went on and it came to presenting the sheet of paper. The girls of my group all were talking about their stuff and as soon as they were finished the next group talked about their sheet. I was left out.

Our teacher summed up the exercise and asked if somebody had something more to contribute. I shouted out (almost crying) my knowledge about communication which a learned in a paramedic training: the 4 ways of communication, that communication not only happens as spoken word but also with body language and a bunch of other stuff.

The other children looked a little bit shocked. My boss / the teacher definitely knowing that I wasn’t feeling well gave me the look: “I know how you feel, do you need a break?”. I shook my head, denying and activated “paramedic mode”.

If I haven’t written about “paramedic mode” in the past, a small explanation: it is basically a mindset I acquired during my paramedic time. As soon as a situation gets serious, you’re switching yourself in a “function only mode”.

Basically, feelings get suppressed for the time needed. Your hands just start working and you are working down the checklists in your head automatically.

Without this mindset, it probably wouldn’t be possible to work on sever injured patients with open fractures, myocardial infarction or cardiac arrest. It lets us focus on the patient and the needed treatments. But the feelings aren’t locked away forever. Normally, as soon as the mission is over, the come back up and then it is time to talk about them.