This Blog Post was originally published on adagia.org.
So, I’m a little bit drunk, which means self-reflecting works better than when I’m not drunk. I did a paramedic shift today (7 am to 7 pm). One paramedic colleague has an engagement ring, but I didn’t specifically ask for it), another one was coupled with a coworker via another paramedic colleague.
Anyways, somehow my heart is a little bit more broken than on other days (or is it a hole I can’t fill? Whatever.) and I’m willing to try online dating again.
I was thinking about it a few days back, so in between missions I downloaded OkCupid. In contrast to Tinder, they promise to display match ideas based on “scientific methods”. Basically, you answer a bunch of questions and the more you answer the better your profile is defined. It’s also great we made some uniform pictures today, who can withstand a smart paramedic?
I’m sorry, my brain suddenly stopped thinking. Let me take a minute to gather my thoughts again….
Interestingly (?) many “girls” aren’t around me but more than 100 kilometres away. I don’t have a problem with driving, but I think more than 100 kilometres would be way too much to even try. “Our” lives would just be lived too far apart.
Also, I think I’ve got a new neighbour in the small Apartment on the side of mine. I think I found her on Instagram and Facebook (based on the name written on the mailbox. I also made a few leaps through the door peephole and almost drove her over recently (headphones, while an electric car is approaching, isn’t a good combination). I think she’s cute and what does it cost to ask? Maybe I should just ring her door and ask for something? But for what?
My brain is just thinking about so many different scenarios that could happen but I don’t have the courage to do it. I hate myself for not using such a simple opportunity.
Such an easy task, such a little risk (what could be the worst that could happen? Not more than a simple "No"). But still, way too much power I've got.