I'm lucky I don't have a girlfriend

This post was originally published on golifelog.com.

No, I’m not, and please excuse the clickbait title, but it will make sense shortly. I promise.

So the last couple of weeks I’ve been eating a load of Legumes as part of “Löwenanteil” (premade meals) and most recently, a lot of meat (pork in a bunch of different (smoked, cooked, backed, bacon, …) variants “Karree”, “Schweinsbraten”, and other classical Styrian meat). Since I’m, and more importantly, my digestive system isn’t used to that, my body has been producing large amounts of gas. And therefore large amounts of farts.

Normally, I’m pretty good at sneaking them out without a tone, but currently they are silent but deadly. Thinking about their current smell, I think they might need to be classified as biological warfare. So, I’m lucky I don’t have a girlfriend because currently, I would have made her unconscious from them, or I would be sleeping outside. 🙈

Well, unless she would share my sense of humour. In that case, we would be farting until both us would fall unconscious.